I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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