Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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