my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
