mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
its not stalking. its research.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
