I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
