i barfeds in our rink
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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