I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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