dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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