I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
