Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
