Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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