and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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