what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
