4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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