Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
