no. you can't hotbox the world.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
