It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
