i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
