It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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