Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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