the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
