I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
