I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
