Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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