i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
