Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
