your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
