It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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