oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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