would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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