Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
