glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
