ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
