Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
