if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
