i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
