The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I have peed in a lot of sinks
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
