DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
