puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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