Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
