he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You ruined the universe
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
