You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
