why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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