Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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