HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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