You're earring is so big in my mouth
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
