Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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