My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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