I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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