If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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