I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
