I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
