i don't like sucking hair
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
