If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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