I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
