it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
